Comedian Danny McGinlay has painted a picture of what's on the line on Friday night as ladder-leaders Fremantle take on Adelaide in what shapes as an important bout for both sides.
While the Dockers are just about confirmed as the minor premiers, a second consecutive loss after a near-flawless campaign would be far from ideal with September around the corner.
But it's at the other end of the table McGinlay has turned his focus, drawing on the state rivalry out west and highlighting the discrepancy between the two rivals.
Adelaide, meanwhile, is set to take inspiration from club great Taylor Walker's retirement despite the star goal kicker being managed ahead of September.
A win would keep alive Adelaide's top four hopes, while a loss would leave them considerably vulnerable to having to go through the Wildcard Round, with Geelong and, to a lesser degree, Collingwood still in the hunt to jump them.
Fremantle
The best footy season in history
Does it have to end so soon
It's still possible to be perfect
If the Eagles get the wooden spoon
Adelaide
His heart is so big
It almost breaks his solar plexus
Do you really need inspiration
Just bloody do it for Texas
