After months of waiting, weeks of leaks and enough scheduling speculation to qualify as a minor branch of intelligence gathering, the AFL has finally released the fixture for Rounds 23 and 24 with just 16 days' notice.
Supporters now have barely more than a fortnight to swap shifts, organise babysitters, rearrange family lunches, work around junior sport now that AFL House has officially granted permission to plan August, not to mention anyone who wants to book a flight interstate.
But never mind the inconvenience. Have you heard about the blockbusters?
In its press release, AFL Head of Strategy and Scheduling Josh Bowler said the final two rounds would deliver a “thrilling finish”, play a “significant role in shaping the finals picture” and feature “marquee matchups”.
The final two rounds will influence who makes the finals.
Somewhere, Captain Obvious is preparing an invoice.
The AFL's coverage has promised a “massive end”, a “huge day of footy”, a “huge QClash”, “finals-shaping clashes” and enough blockbusters to reopen every Video Ezy in Australia.
Collingwood-Hawthorn is a blockbuster. Collingwood-Brisbane is another. Fremantle-Adelaide is finals-shaping. Three games in Melbourne on one Saturday is “Super Saturday”.
Three games. In Melbourne. On a Saturday.
There was once a time when six matches were played at six suburban grounds on the same afternoon. Now three games in one city are being promoted alongside the Snowy Mountains Scheme as one of Australia's great engineering achievements.
This is the flaw in the floating fixture. Delay the announcement, drip-feed obvious possibilities, inconvenience supporters and then present the answer as a triumph of strategy.
To be clear, flexibility has benefits. Nobody wants 15th against 17th on Friday night while two contenders are buried in the Sunday twilight witness-protection slot.
But flexibility does not require entire rounds to remain classified until the last possible moment.
Release most of the fixture, nominate a few games that can move and set a reasonable deadline. There is plenty of space between locking every match away six months ahead and forcing supporters to monitor fixture leaks like Vatican smoke signals.
This was not clever flexibility. It was a botch.
Then there are the AFLW double-headers.
The AFL says they provide “more opportunities to experience both competitions”, which is a lovely spin considering clubs have been given almost no time to promote them.
AFLW teams are trying to launch their seasons, sell memberships and build crowds while only just learning whether they are the curtain-raiser, curtain-closer or filling in an AFL-approved blockbuster sandwich.
Nothing says commitment to growing women's football like treating its opening round as classified information.
The double-headers are a good idea. Giving clubs less promotional runway than my local pub gives Friday night Jag the Joker is madness.
The matches are excellent. Fremantle-Adelaide should be epic. Collingwood-Brisbane could reshape the ladder.
But the AFL did not create that drama. The clubs did.
The league merely delayed telling everyone when they were playing, left supporters scrambling to rearrange everyday life and issued a statement explaining that the final rounds will affect the finals.
Genius stuff.
