The Ashes have been reclaimed, the tennis is all over, and now we officially begin footy pre-season. It's a magical time of year where every footy fan dares to dream. Miracles happen! Your team that missed finals last year may burst out and go all the way! (Yes, even you North!)
Humans have evolved to forget many traumas of childbirth and the relentlessness of raising a baby. Which is a cunning trick by nature to trick us into having multiple children. It's the same with footy, during the barmy nights of February when we read of our heroes training the house down with their elite muscular pre-season bodies, we forget that for the majority of footy fans 2026 will end in frustration.
A large portion of that frustration will be directed at the men and women in flouro. So just to remind you that footy fandom is a cruel existence, I've researched the worst umpiring decision against each club for the 21st century:
*The point of this article isn't to name and shame umpires who've made errors. We all know it's a hard job and we're all human. Don't get personal, just yell into the abyss like a well-adjusted grown up.
Western Bulldogs
Finally, my Dogs. I want to say every single decision against us has been the worst, but the absolute worst comes from the 2009 PreliminaryFinal. At half-time the Dogs were up by seven, then before the ball is bounced, Nick Reiwoldt dove onto the ground and Brian Lake did the standard pre-bounce wrestling. The umpires fell for it, and Riewoldt got a shot on goal. What's worse is Nick's ‘winning goal' was clearly touched by Jarrod Harbrow.
See, we're all petty rage monsters.
Danny McGinlay is performing at the Adelaide Fringe and Melbourne Comedy Festivals. Tickets through here.
