The Ashes have been reclaimed, the tennis is all over, and now we officially begin footy pre-season. It's a magical time of year where every footy fan dares to dream. Miracles happen! Your team that missed finals last year may burst out and go all the way! (Yes, even you North!)
Humans have evolved to forget many traumas of childbirth and the relentlessness of raising a baby. Which is a cunning trick by nature to trick us into having multiple children. It's the same with footy, during the barmy nights of February when we read of our heroes training the house down with their elite muscular pre-season bodies, we forget that for the majority of footy fans 2026 will end in frustration.
A large portion of that frustration will be directed at the men and women in flouro. So just to remind you that footy fandom is a cruel existence, I've researched the worst umpiring decision against each club for the 21st century:
*The point of this article isn't to name and shame umpires who've made errors. We all know it's a hard job and we're all human. Don't get personal, just yell into the abyss like a well-adjusted grown up.
North Melbourne
This match is particularly painful. Thankfully, North fans have such a high pain tolerance they could have a vasectomy with no anaesthesia and then cycle home. In Round 14, 2024, the Roos led Collingwood by 54 points, then, of course, the Pies came back. Nick Daicos soccered off the ground and it was marked by Bailey Scott, and both Steele Sidebottom and Beau McCreery are all over him. It's a clear 50m penalty, but the umpire just calls play on. Would have been a shot on goal and a chance to ice 30 seconds. Collingwood would have needed a miracle to win. But right now, most North fans know they probably still would have stuffed it up.
