After trying to land her for years, the AFL should be so lucky that Kylie Minogue is finally locked in for Grand Final Day.
And despite the usual calls for a night or twilight decider to “maximise the show”, it's better the devil you know. The 2.30pm start is staying for at least two more years and frankly, that is a good thing. Not everything needs to be remixed.
Kylie will no doubt deliver the biggest Minogue performance on Grand Final Day since her long-lost relative original hall-of-famer Dan Minogue (family tree still under review) captained/coached Richmond to back-to-back flags in 1920 and 1921.
All puns aside, it is a perfect fit. Melbourne icon. Global superstar. Biggest day on the footy calendar.
Love at first sight.
But there is one elephant in the room when it comes to Grand Final entertainment, and it has been there for years.
Mike Brady and Up There Cazaly.
Now, before the pitchforks come out, yes, it is iconic. Yes, it belongs. Yes, Brady should absolutely still be part of the day.
But let's be honest.
It is not the only footy anthem we have got.
The best football song, and I will die on this hill, is That's the Thing About Football by Greg Champion.
Released in 1994 with Brady's help, it became the soundtrack of footy for Channel Seven's coverage for most of the 1990's. It charted, it connected, it was everywhere.
For a stretch, it went toe to toe with Cazaly as the anthem of the game.
And yet somewhere along the way, it got parked.
Despite the fact it still resonates. Despite the fact fans still know every word. Despite the fact even now there is a growing push to see it back on the biggest stage.
Meanwhile, Up There Cazaly keeps getting the annual run. Again, no issue with that. Brady has made absolute bang for buck out of it. There has been Up There for Sydney, There's a Little Bit of Cazaly in Us All, and who could forget Doing the Cazaly getting a spin in those late 90s Grand Finals.
Full credit. It is part of the fabric. But this is not about replacing it. It is about recognising there is room for both.
Because That's the Thing About Football is not just nostalgic, it is reflective. It is what the game actually feels like. It captures the why.
And in an era where we are constantly talking about rule tweaks, fixturing quirks and off field noise, that reminder matters.
Grand Final Day is supposed to be a celebration of the game. Not just the spectacle, the soul of it. And that song taps straight into it.
For the AFL, it would not be about pushing Brady aside. That would be like Carols by Candlelight rolling on without Dennis Walter or the Cox Plate ditching Daryl Braithwaite and Horses. It just does not happen.
But adding The Thing About Football into the mix feels like the easiest win going.
Which brings us back to Kylie.
There will be plenty of chat about the setlist. The hits. Whether The Locomotion gets a run. Whether there is a surprise guest. Maybe even Jason Donovan pops up for a bit of Especially For You.
But why stop there?
If you are Kylie Minogue, on the MCG, on Grand Final Day, with 100,000 people and the biggest TV audience in the country watching, why not lean all the way in?
Sing the footy songs. Seriously.
Give us a verse of Up There Cazaly. Roll straight into That's the Thing About Football. Bring Brady out. Bring Champs out. Turn it into a proper medley.
Pop royalty meets footy folklore.
You are telling me Kylie Minogue belting out a footy anthem does not instantly become one of the great Grand Final moments?
It is sitting right there.
Because if we are going to go all in on the entertainment, if we are going to do it properly, then let's actually celebrate the game while we are at it.
Not just the biggest names. The best parts of footy.
Nail that and you will not just have a pre-game show.
You will have 100,000 people at the G and a few million more at home who cannot get it out of their head.
