Ansett Australia

The city of Adelaide is behind and still living in the 1990s, so why not have a sponsor from the 1990s.



There is no other way to put it, the Lions simply stink. They were horrendous in 2016, winning just three games and will likely struggle again this season.



The Blues have one of the youngest lists in the competition and have plenty of young kids to take care of and nurture over the next few seasons. They also have one of the youngest coaches in the game, with Brendon Bolton just 37 years of age.


1300 smiles

1300 SMILES are the best dentists in the business and they should be able to provide a discount for the Magpies’ members.


Chemist Warehouse

This one doesn’t need too much explaining…


Slater and Gordon

The Dockers have had plenty of players in trouble with the law of late, with Shane Yarran, Michael Johnson and Harley Bennell are all having run ins with the Police recently.



The Cats might need to set up a GoFundMe account to pay for Gary Ablett’s return home.



Well the AFL have given the Giants every leg up possible to win a flag, they might as will be the club’s major sponsor.

Gold Coast

St John’s Ambulance

The Suns have had a horrid injury toll over the past few seasons, these guys should come in handy.


AFL Umpires’ Association

#FreekickHawthorn. Need we say more?


Mt Hotham ski resort

We all know Melbourne fans love their ski resorts and their Range Rovers a bit more than they love their club, so this sponsorship should work out well for everyone.

North Melbourne

The Roos had a major clean out at the end of last season. Seek should come in handy for their older, delisted players.

Port Adelaide

Australian army

The Power will need gas masks from the army for their trip to China against the Suns later this year given the poor air quality.


Noodle Box

Plenty of chop sticks for Dusty at Noodle Box.

St Kilda


Jake Carlisle got himself into trouble last year with the popular mobile app. Don’t party and snap kids, don’t party and snap…



Monaco is a known tax haven, and the Swans could use some creative means to try to fit all of their guns under the salary cap over the next few years.

West Coast

Australian Pensioners Insurance Agency

APIA should be keen to jump on bard with the Eagles given their desire to recruit over 30s in Drew Petrie and Sam Mitchell.

Western Bulldogs

Metro Trains

Metro Trains should be perfect to help fit everyone on the Bulldogs’ bandwagon in 2017, following their shock triumph in the grand final last season. All aboard the Doggies’ train!