The Banner Man strikes comedy gold ahead of Opening Round

The Banner Man is joining Zero Hanger for 2026 and has started with a belly-laugh sounding bang.

Back writing banners for his beloved Western Bulldogs, comedian Danny McGinlay - aka The Banner Man - has turned his wit to the 10 clubs competing in Opening Round for a smorgasbord of mock banners.

McGinlay told Zero Hanger that his excitement for the return of football led to his desire to add a comedic twist to the launch of the AFL season.

"It's a fun muscle (to utilise)," he said. "Someone pointed out to me it is like writing a Japanese haiku; it is probably the Australian equivalent of writing haikus.

"Because you have a certain amount of syllables and you have to get the cadence right. It can't be too long either or the poor cheer squad would all get arthritis in their hands."

In terms of his personal favourite, McGinlay said he enjoyed avenging some of his Blues mates ahead of tonight's Sydney and Carlton clash.

"A few of these would never get up because they are quite cheeky," he said. 

"When I do my real banners I never attack a specific player with my Bulldogs banners. But with these ones, because they are fake banners, I have enjoyed having a dig at (Charlie) Curnow for my Carlton supporting mates."

McGinlay made a name for himself a decade ago during the Bulldogs' run to a drought-breaking premiership by adding a slice of comedy to banners. Nowadays, teams across the land use their pre-game banners as an opportunity to showcase a club's personality.

Greater Western Sydney being the main proprietors of the concept.

These days, McGinlay said he simply enjoys trying to keep up with the other clubs' comedic nous.

"Everyone tells me I'm the gold standard, but that's because no one knows who writes the banners," he said.

"There has been some brilliant ones, Collingwood were really funny for a while and GWS are right up there. I had my golden period in 2016, but now I am just a regular player. I am just trying to be as good as the other teams."

While McGinlay said he enjoyed his time writing banners for every match of the round, he said to do the task for every game of the season would "kill him". He did, however, hint at continuing to cover the big games and finals with his banners.

Enjoy The Banner Man McGinlay's "Australian haikus" below.

Tickets to McGinlay's show can be found here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/browse-shows/danny-mcginlay-blaggard/

Sydney

SOMETHING TO REMEMBER
WHEN DOING YOUR TIPS
WHEN THESE TWO GANGS MEET
THE BLOODS WILL BEAT CRIPPS

Carlton

YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN
IF YOU'D BOTHERED TO STUDY
A DISLOYAL CURNOW
ISN'T MUCH OF A BUDDY

Gold Coast

WE WATCHED YOU LOSE THE GRAND FINAL
AS INNOCENT BYSTANDERS
BUT TONIGHT WE WILL SHOW THE LEAGUE WHY
YOU SHOULD FEAR ALL QUEENSLANDERS

Geelong

WILL OPENING ROUND GO AHEAD THIS YEAR?
OR ARE YOU STILL SCARED OF A RAINSHOWER?
THE MIGHTY CATS WILL RUIN THE GOLD COAST
QUICKER THAN A CYCLONE [OR A TRUMP TOWER]

GWS

REVENGE WILL BE SWEET TONIGHT
WE SHOUT OUR BATTLECRY
CAUSE OUR COACH CAN USE HIS BRAIN
AND NOT JUST DEPEND ON AI

Hawthorn

WE KNOW IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH TONIGHT
BUT WE STILL WANNA DECLARE IT
TO ALL THE ESSENDON FANS OUT THERE
WE NEVER EVEN WANTED MERRETT

Western Bulldogs

BEFORE THE GAMES KICKS OFF
WE HAVE TO SAY CONGRATS
EVERY BULLDOGS FAN ENJOYED
YOU LOT SMASHING THE CATS

Brisbane

RAISING THE PREMIERS FLAG TONIGHT
BUT THERE IS ONE THING THAT SOURS
WE HAVE TO CONCEDE, DOGS, YOUR FANS
ARE MUCH MORE HANDSOME THAN OURS

St Kilda

WE KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE US
WE KNOW YOU'LL REBUT
BUT WE TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN SHOWING YOU
YOUR PREMIERSHIP WINDOW IS SHUT

Collingwood

THIS MIGHT BE A CHEEKY QUESTION
BUT SOMEONE'S GOTTA ASK IT
HOW DOES IT FEEL, TO PUT ALL YOUR EGGS
INTO ONE DE KONING SHAPED BASKET?