Macca Views Chris Scott

Self-professed footy expert Macca hails from Tom Groggin, and is the star of the local footy side in the Victorian town.

He would have made the big time, although after suffering a severely stubbed toe during his teenage years, he’s had to settle for dominating the local football scene. 

Macca has a bone to pick with Chris Scott, and as a new contributor to Zero Hanger, we’ve given him the floor to vent his feelings!

Righto Scotty, I’ve heard about enough of your garbage. Is it Brad or Chris by the way? I can never tell you two apart!

Anyway…Geelong should play home finals at Kardinia Park you reckon? The Grand Final should be moved away from the MCG you reckon? Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge – put a sock in it mate!

For starters, you won two premierships in a row playing for the Brisbane Lions at the ‘G in the early 2000s. You sure weren’t complaining about playing there then, were you? When you were throwing haymakers at every second bloke. Fair dinkum, the success of your playing days were achieved at the ‘G!

So you get a coaching gig at Geelong and win a flag in your first year there (getting gifted the best list in the competition), your third flag overall, again, at the ‘G. It marked Geelong’s third flag of the 2000s, all played at, guess where? THE BLOODY ‘G!

So you’re having a sook about travelling an hour into the city to take on Collingwood at the ‘G next week, their home ground. Well, just a friendly reminder – all three of your premierships were against the flipping Pies!

Any danger of you just trying to win the game of footy at hand? It’s no wonder you’re the perennial September chokers these days. Mate, you’re making the world go mad. There’s people saying ‘well why doesn’t GWS play at the SCG,’ and whatnot, grounds that teams never play at. This is just getting out of hand – we may as well shut up shop at this rate!

The Cats play home games at the MCG every year and have proven they can win there. So I don’t want to hear about it being an unfamiliar venue to them, and quite frankly, tough cans that you copped the Pies week one of finals.

Heck, those 50,000 that would be locked out of Kardinia are the ones lining your pockets mate.

I’ve got a solution for ya Scotty. Whack your hi-vis singlet on, grab some tools (I’ll even lend you mine), and start building some extra seats, ’cause that’s the only way you’ll ever be hosting games down at the Cattery. And if you did shift to Kardinia permanently, good luck remembering how to football at the ‘G. There goes any chance you blokes would have of winning another flag.

Don’t even get me started on that time when you did get a home final at Kardinia back in 2013. How did they work out for ya?

In all seriousness, I like ya Scotty, I really do. I’ve just had enough of your sooking. And I hope you’re brother gets another coaching gig soon. Just please not at Geelong, ’cause you’d have to start wearing name tags or something.

But relax, have a frothy and accept defeat. Big finals will ALWAYS be played at the mighty MCG!