Gather ‘round, people, I'll tell you a story. A four-day-long story of footy, festivities and a mechanical bull.
Exactly nine games, 36 quarters and enough pints to satisfy any thirst ago, AFL boss Gillon McLachlan boldly told the footy world that the league's inaugural Gather Round had already “exceeded expectations”, all before any score was on the board.
And though plenty of water would flow under the bridge, and from the heavens, over the course of the weekend-long carnival in the Festival State, the smooth-talking, sharp-dressing chief's delivery was lace out, like McLeod to Modra all those years ago.
For most, the Gather Round experience began on Thursday in airport lounges around the country, as fans of all 16 visitors milled together ahead of shared flights decked out in every colour combination available.
For the sadistic and the hard of heart, tanks were filled, and filled again, with wheels in motion down the Sturt, along the Great Ocean Road and across the Nullarbor. Though far from ideal pre-match prep, the chance to mingle with kitted-out strangers was embraced by all. A Hawk or two chasing a coffee in Ararat; a clowder of Cats taking over one of infinite roadside cafes, they were all there to see as every road led in one direction.
As Thursday dipped behind the Bradman Pavilion, it was quickly replaced by pyrotechnics and hundreds of LED lights, as nigh-on 50,000 footy fans, still fresh of mind, body and soul converged on the Adelaide Oval to see the headliners, Carlton and the Crows, start us off with the proverbial bang.
After watching on as the hosts plucked Carlton's roosters, the mood was overwhelmingly buoyant in the streets leading back from the Torrens. After all, everyone digs seeing a Blues loss, not least of all Matthew Nicks.
"Adelaide is rocking," the overjoyed local let out post-game.
In spite of the 10-goal drubbing, one-time Adelaidean Michael Voss was also stoked to be back in town, wrapping his own press conference with a joke, even if he'd missed the cut for Corey Durdin's 21st birthday party.
Returning home with a smile proved a theme for former Lions, as Craig McRae lapped up the chance to revisit past deeds at several SANFL stomping grounds.
"All my family and friends and cousins are asking for tickets," the old Glenelg Tiger told the media at West Adelaide. "There's a real buzz."
Crushed by the Crows in Round 4, Fremantle stayed on in the City of Churches, perhaps in the hopes of exorcising some demons. And though they were dressed like easy-beats of old University in their near-blue chevroned jumpers, they got the win, much to the delight of their many travelling fans.
Facing Gold Coast in the 'burbs, just under 10,000 Dockers, Suns and supporters of every other side, including Norwood, made their way to the picturesque Parade ground. It may have taken 40 minutes to grab a beer and around the same time to get through the gates, but there were next to no complaints as Freo's big names concocted a comeback win in postcard conditions.
Despite the lines testing patience, the fixture provided a real treat for the millennial fan that had only ever heard of suburban footy's beauty. For the uninitiated, The Parade's beautiful intricacies were each a sight to behold: the narrow surrounding streets and the even thinner wings. The brick wall. The grand old pavilion. Even the bottle-necked crowd shuffling their way between the Western Stand and the RSL.
Giants and Hawks fans were treated to the same sights on Sunday, with Hawthorn making their first appearance at the ground since their Wills Cup final win over North Melbourne nearly 47 years ago.
From the front bar of the Colonist Hotel - less than a Garry McIntosh punt down The Parade - fans from opposite edges of the continent watched on in comfort as Richmond and Sydney slogged it out in the rain. How weird, many of these patrons remarked between sips, was it to see the hill devoid of all teal and tri-colours?
While the wind whipped on Friday night, forcing those from warmer states to rug up, there was warm company to be found and revelry to be had, not least at the infamous Woolshed on Hindley Street, where the mechanical bull was being bucked to within an inch of its stuffed life.
Even for sick and sorry Richmond fans, the sun would rise on Saturday, firing the likely lads and lasses back onto the sherbets. If you fall off the bull, you get back on it, right?
Adelaide's more gentile guests donned their RMs and gilets before heading to the hills; trading West Ends for something corked, cellared and far more costly.
Though the Roos would fail to show for large parts of their afternoon game against Brisbane at Mount Barker, it was the charcuterie boards and the panorama views that made the trip south-east a must.
Rolling on, the Dons rolled the Dees as the dark clouds rolled back over town, with Reynella's own Sam Draper acting as Essendon's tour guide, band leader and merry pied piper.
And on from there, the Power would charge late, led by man-child Jason Horne-Francis putting his new teammates on his back and bolting.
Respective defeats and the returning deluge did little to dampen the spirits of Dees and Dogs fans, especially when the keen-eyed spotted a former goalsneak-turned-goal umpire helping several patrons rush passed security and into the jam-packed Rosey.
Earlier in the day, the Magpie Army descended on Unley, watching on as their boys cruised around in first gear. With bangers blasting out over the PA system and Ash Johnson banging them in from everywhere, the morning's buoyancy turned to unbridled confidence. The Saints, many told, didn't stand a chance.
With every fan left in town waiting deep into Sunday for the anticipated clash, its nailbiting finish almost made up for the fact it had more turnovers than Perryman's bakery just up the road in North Adelaide.
Perhaps, if you were picky, you could call it the only blot on the festival's copybook. But then again, signing off with a set of headliners rather than cellar-dwellers will always keep crowds engaged, even if their vision is hazy after their umpteenth can of the afternoon.
Extension after extension may have been stapled onto McLachlan's tenure at City Hall, giving him ample time to add to a legacy already stamped with tentative Shanghai stop bys and the righting of the ship in unprecedented COVID times.
Like Gather Round itself, Gil's time in office hasn't come complete without hitches, as suits and investigations continue into serious issues such as concussion, racism and sexual assault.
But even with a CBA still to deliver and another party to start in another football state further south, the first-up strength of this inaugural footy festival should see Gil, and of course, South Australian premier Peter Malinauskas, get a tick in every available box.
From little things, big things grow Paul Kelly has crooned for the past 30 years, and with this seed now showing leaves in South Australian soil, the choice to water and watch grow for the next three years must be commended instead of uprooting and ramming it into a non-heartland market.
From its iconic oval's hill to the hills out of town; across the river and down The Parade, the City of Churches delivered on its promise to throw a footy festival for the ages.
We'll see all of you next year for frogs cakes and pie floaters.
