MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - SEPTEMBER 15: Toby Greene of the Giants looks dejected after losing the AFL Semi Final match between the Collingwood Magpies and the Greater Western Sydney Giants at Melbourne Cricket Ground on September 15, 2018 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Self-professed footy expert Macca hails from Tom Groggin, and is the star of the local footy side in the Victorian town.

He would have made the big time, although after suffering a severely stubbed toe during his teenage years, he’s had to settle for dominating the local football scene. 

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Macca has a bone to pick with the AFL, and as a new contributor to Zero Hanger, we’ve given him the floor to vent his feelings!

So old mate Toby Greene is off to the tribunal again for ‘making unnecessary contact to Lachie Neale’s eyes’, ey? Fair dinkum, give me a spell.

How does something much worse only result in a fine last week, but it’s a one-match ban this week? The system is a farce.

Mate, back in my playing days, no more than 10 years ago, the coach would give you a pump up in the post-game huddle if you did something like that!

Now Toby, at least get your money’s worth next time and make him really feel it. God knows you can afford it mate.

Let’s just say fingers went in much worse places when I was running around. But you could also get away with jumper punching, pushing blokes into fences, touching umpires, hip and shouldering blokes, and well, most things really.

I’m not one of those old codgers from the 80s or anything. I was playing in the 2000s when things were a bit more lenient. Call the 80s MA-rated and my days M-rated, whereas these days, it’s all bloody PG!

Some of the suspensions these days are as soft as the butter I put on my toast every morning. Don’t even get me started on the Tom Hawkins case.

If Greene does get given a week for that then the AFL has straight up gone mad. Quite frankly, we need more blokes like Greene in the game these days. A few colourful sort of characters, you know?

99 per cent of blokes are robots off the field, now the AFL wants them to be robots on it too? Nup, I won’t have it.

I’ll raise my glass to you Greene and hope that you get off your charge. But gee whiz, the way you’re going, you’ll have your own personalised cheer in the tribunal room by season’s end with a bloody name plaque and all.

In fact, I’m going early, I reckon you’ll get off. Good luck in the prelim against those Collingwood pricks. Be sure to knock a few of those mongrels around.

And I’m sure we’ll see you back at the tribunal next week.